Empowered Recovery--Candidly Helping the Family and friends of Alcoholics Recognize, Understand, and Resolve an Alcoholic Relationship

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Robin's Realm


The Victim

When you hear the word victim, what do you think of? Do you think of a victim from a crime? Do you think of the employee who lost their job due to downsizing of a company?

Do you think of someone who received unfair justice in a court settlement? Or do you think of yourself?

Yourself you ask? Yes, yourself. You see I am a victim. I am a victim of my own wrong choices I made in my life. How can we as people make ourselves victims you may ask?

It is easy. Take a moment right now to reflect upon your life. Find a quiet spot and sit quietly and reflect.

For those in an alcoholic relationship or any relationship for that matter, think of the times you have spent “checking up” on the other person. What about the time you counted the bottles? How did you feel afterwards? My gosh he/she drank a case since yesterday! Did it make you feel any better now that you knew that? I can bet the answer is it made you feel worse! It did not hurt the other person at all. It hurt you! How about when you checked the phone log to see who he/she was calling? Did you feel any better now that you knew? I can bet the answer is it made you feel worse! It did not hurt the other person at all. It hurt you! How about the time you may have checked his/her email to see who they were communicating with?  Did it make you feel any better now that you knew? I can be the answer is it made you feel worse. It did not hurt the other person at all. It hurt you! How about all the times you have spent wondering how you could have saved the other person? When knowing all along, we cannot save anyone, they can only save themselves. It did not hurt the other person. It only hurt you!

I could go on and on with examples of life when we make ourselves a victim. We inflict our own pain upon us. We continue to make ourselves a victim. It is a horrible painful feeling. The tears come. The frustrations come. What have we really resolved through all of this? Nothing! We have just caused more pain.

Let me ask you something. Are you not tired of being a victim? Are you not tired of being a self inflicted victim? Oh sure. Other people cause us pain. The matter of the truth is 99% of the time, we allow ourselves to be the victim.

You may ask, how can I get freedom from this pain? The answer comes in a five letter word. TRUST. Trust in yourself. Trust may not be a word that is in your vocabulary. I encourage you to open your encyclopedia of life and add that word immediately!

You have to trust yourself. You have to trust the knowledge and wisdom you have within. You need to make the right choices in life. The cycle of being a victim has to stop. Once you are able to end this cycle, you will feel such joy! You will no longer be the victim. Why continue in life, being a victim of pain? Choose today to start living within a life of self trust. When you do this, you will feel the peace fall upon you.

My wish for you today as you read this, is to take the time to start being you and living for you. It will be a decision you will never regret!


--Robin Walters, January 31, 2007


© Copyright 2007 by Robin Walters. All Rights Reserved. 

Robin Walters is an alcoholic relationship survivor and writer in New York state. Robin still longs to be a school teacher, but now satisfies that longing by sharing her life experiences in the hope that her lessons will lighten the load for others. She may be contacted at robin@empoweredrecovery.com. Read more of her writings at www.EmpoweredRecovery.com/robin .




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