Empowered Recovery--Candidly Helping the Family and friends of Alcoholics Recognize, Understand, and Resolve an Alcoholic Relationship

    •  www.EmpoweredRecovery.com •  www.NonAlcoholic.org 




Robin's Realm


A Ride Through the Theme Park of Life

Ever remember those younger days of yours? Remember those summer days spent at the local theme park? There you are standing in line waiting for the thrill of that wild ride.

You wait in anticipation. The hot sun beating on you. Your hands sticky from the cotton candy that you so deliciously enjoyed. The screams of other riders are echoing through the air. You watch as those cars go climbing up and up, slowly, the tracks creaking. The car hits the top and then ever so slowly peaks over the top and then whoosh away it races down the hill, whipping around the curves, shaking from side to side headed for the next climb for the rush to start all over again.

For me I was never a big rollercoaster person, I much more enjoyed the slow rides like It’s a Small World at Disneyworld. Here I could sit in a boat and float through the water and see all the beautiful dolls from all over the world. I could hear the music of all the different lands playing in the background with the theme song playing, It’s a Small World after all, It’s a Small World after all…

Is it really a small world we live in? Is our life like a floating boat calm and smooth or is it like a roller coaster ride wild and crazy? Many people will answer this in many different ways but if you are a nonalcoholic in an alcoholic relationship I would bet my next paycheck you would vote the rollercoaster ride.

You see the rollercoaster ride of an alcoholic relationship finds you waiting for many wild curves, hills and ups and downs. Being an active participant in the wonderful program of Empowered Recovery, I hear of many of these rides. I bet folks could have many names for the rides of life they have been on.

We shall start with the all-too-familiar “Eggshell Walk.” This is where a person has to be very cautious of his or her own words and actions for fear of upsetting the alcoholic. Ever been there having to be very cautious of what you say and what you do? Those who are involved with alcoholics are known to be very codependent and want to do everything for the alcoholic so they will love us—no matter what the cost is to our self-esteem and well-being. Therefore we behave so quietly and allow ourselves to be controlled by them.

Don’t be yourself, heavens no, walk quietly and don’t crush that egg in front of you. Get the picture?

Okay, so at the theme park they have the funhouse. This is where you get lost in a maze with many mirrors, creepy crawly things grabbing you, and always a clown laughing hysterically at you. Is that not how it is with being with an alcoholic? You feel lost not knowing which way to turn, their behaviors and actions grabbing at you and always wanting your attention, and most assuredly, they laugh at you, poke fun at you, and better yet, ignore you.

Now, I have been known to throw a few dimes and nickels trying to win dishware at the local carnival. Sometimes I would get lucky and win a free glass, but other times, the nickel hit the floor and the profit of my hard earned nickel went to the profit of the carnival. Hmm, can you relate this to the ride you are on?

Is it not true that many of us find ourselves in conversations with the alcoholic, trying to get them to see, trying to get them to understand? How many times have you had the endless conversation… the one where you find yourself saying and repeating the same thing? At times we thought we were getting lucky that they heard us, heck they even said “I love you,” but then the next day you find out that the pitch you had given just fell to the floor as they did not remember a thing that had been said! Could this be the game of blackouts?

“Step on forward, come on over here! All are winners!” shouts the barker. “Step right up, let me guess your weight, your birth date,” and such. I was a sucker. I pulled out the two dollars thinking this guy would never guess my weight. I took a deep breath stepped on the scale. He stood there with his little pad and pen looking at me, really thinking hard.

I was thinking he will never guess it. Guess what! He guessed 10 pounds lighter than what I weighed! He had to guess within 2 pounds for me not to win. I won! But did I really win, or was I suckered in so I would try it again in order to keep winning? I relate this to the lying game that alcoholics play. We get suckered in by those lies. They tell them one right after another and we find ourselves not even knowing what the truth is. 

I think one of my favorites growing up was the antique cars that go around and around the track with me thinking I was in control of the car only to find out that there was a little metal line with a metal hook on the underneath of the car that kept it on track.

If you really take the time to sit and analyze this ride, you can relate it to how you have been manipulated and controlled. Was it not you always sitting on the sideline waiting for the next demand to be given to you? Was it not you who was told that you only want it your way, but in the meantime you were doing everything to please them? You put your life on hold for them.

There are many rides in a theme park—some that thrill us; some that scare us. Being in an alcoholic relationship is a crazy ride. One moment we are thrilled and happy as a lark, the next minute we are in tears because of the emotional pain that is brought upon us. What I really want to say is, how long do you want to be stuck on this Merry-Go-Round of Life? The life that keeps going around and round, but goes nowhere? Do you really want to keep walking on eggshells? Do you want to continue to take the abuse and be manipulated and controlled? Do you really want to spend your energy on conversations talking to a bottle?

Life is a huge theme park. With finding self-empowerment through Empowered Recovery, you can really begin to enjoy the true ride of life. A life that is about you. A life that has always been waiting to be discovered and enjoyed. A life that can be traveled through in peace and serenity. One that can be shared with those that you love—but only if you just let yourself in and the alcoholic out. It is out there. Take a moment now. Get your ticket. There is no cost to participate. It all just takes energy. Your energy. This thrilling ride is all self driven by you. You are in control of it. What an awesome feeling!

Take a moment now… close your eyes…. Feel it? Hear it? It is calming. It is peaceful.

This ride is called “It’s my world people! It’s my life and I am here to enjoy it!”

--Robin Walters, January 2006


© Copyright 2006 by Robin Walters. All Rights Reserved. 

Robin Walters is an alcoholic relationship survivor and writer in New York state. Robin still longs to be a school teacher, but now satisfies that longing by sharing her life experiences in the hope that her lessons will lighten the load for others. She may be contacted at robin@empoweredrecovery.com. Read more of her writings at www.EmpoweredRecovery.com/robin .




NOTICE: Empowered Recovery is not intended to replace prudent professional therapy.

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