Empowered Recovery--Candidly Helping the Family and friends of Alcoholics Recognize, Understand, and Resolve an Alcoholic Relationship

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Robin's Realm


A Lucky Day


What would you consider a lucky day? Well I bet most of you would think the day you won the big state lottery. You know one of those days you sit in front of the  TV and watch the nightly news section where the little balls spin around and drop out. Okay folks, the lucky numbers are 6, 22, 40, 28, 9, 35, and the Powerball is 7. You sit there on pins and needles watching each ball drop checking your ticket in anticipation only to find out you did not have one darn number! Better luck next time you tell yourself as you rip the ticket up and throw it away.


Today was my lucky day. It started out with going to a local church to enjoy the service and afterward to partake in their coffee hour. During this coffee hour I got to share along with another woman from my church our experience of going to Slidell Louisiana and helping the Hurricane Victims. It was awesome to share with these folks how they can help by going there or by even helping from a distance.


But the most luckiest part of the day was afterwards when I called a good friend to go to lunch with me. As we stood in line for our seat, we just gabbed and gabbed like girlfriends do and get caught up on the latest events in our life including the dating scene, since we are both single.


As lunch was served we were continued to share stories. Now this good friend of mine has been there with me for the last two and half years of my life, including the time when I was in the relationship with the alcoholic. The subject of my daughter came up. Now to bring you up to speed, I had moved to New York for a better career in January 2004, and to be closer the special man in my life with which the relationship had come to an end.  My daughter came with me at the time. My one son was to be a senior in high school and wanted to finish school in Pennsylvania, and my other son was in college. So for their mom to move further away was hard but not as hard as moving my daughter who was 12 from her friends, family, and the school she knew all her life.


This past summer she made the decision to move back to Pennsylvania to live with her dad and to be able to go to school with her friends and be with her family. So now instead of her living with  me and going to her dad’s every other weekend, the roles are reversed. She lives with her dad and comes to see me when it fits her schedule.


I face loneliness without her and her brothers here. I have allowed the apron strings to be cut way too soon. My decision to come here to New York had all good intentions, but went awry. I gave up so much for a hope and a dream. Have you done that? I ask you, have you found you gave up so much in your relationship for another human being? Have you found yourself watching the lotto of life only to have another ticket ripped up and thrown away?


But as you read this, you might ask, “But you said today was your lucky day!” I say yes because today, my friend helped me to see. Yes I had done all of this and yes it may have been a mistake—or shall we say a lesson learned. But take hold Robin, it is your lucky day! You have found yourself and who you truly are and what really counts in life. It is my family that counts. It is my daughter and sons who count. She may be at a distance, but now is the time to take hold and make amends.


I said to myself, “Be creative. Seek out the answers to how you and her can be close once again. When she comes to see you, have the weekend revolve around you and your daughter. Yes you may be dating again, but if this man cares for you he will understand the time that is needed with your daughter. Don’t shove another person in your daughter’s face.”


Hmm in the past, I was consumed with the relationship and pleasing the alcoholic. Doing everything to make sure the relationship would survive. I would have to honestly say today, I had given up precious time with my family in the past, to be with the alcoholic. Again that “addicted” power had overcome me.


To sum up the winnings of today, I am a winner because I have close friends who I now spend time with who have supported me all along through thick and thin. They did not toss me to the sea. They were always there to pick me up when the next wave crashed. They have hugged me and dried my tears, but most of all, they are honest with me and help me to continue to see the light. They keep me on the happy path. They help me keep my life in perspective.


In all our excitement of winning a lottery we always call someone to share. Tonight, the first call was to my daughter. “ Honey how are you? I miss you! What would you like to do special this coming weekend?”


I ask you as you finish reading this, what makes you feel lucky today? As you struggle with all you are feeling being in an alcoholic relationship—or better yet—lucky enough to have made the decision to move on, what is it that you can rejoice about and feel lucky about?


Now my therapist would tell me, “Do not be a mind reader, Robin, none of us can be that.” But I will take a stab at it and say, “Bet you feel pretty darn lucky that you are truly now seeking and finding who you are!”


Happy Recovery! May you have many more lucky days ahead


--Robin Walters, January 8, 2006


© Copyright 2006 by Robin Walters. All Rights Reserved. 

Robin Walters is an alcoholic relationship survivor and writer in New York state. Robin still longs to be a school teacher, but now satisfies that longing by sharing her life experiences in the hope that her lessons will lighten the load for others. She may be contacted at robin@empoweredrecovery.com. Read more of her writings at www.EmpoweredRecovery.com/robin .




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