Empowered Recovery--Candidly Helping the Family and friends of Alcoholics Recognize, Understand, and Resolve an Alcoholic Relationship

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Robin's Realm


Crossroad Decisions

It was a long day today. I sat in an all day seminar. The speaker was an excellent speaker. However, my mind and eyes kept wandering to the window watching the snow falling down. I knew I had an hour and half drive home.  I was at a crossroad decision. Do I leave the seminar early to get home before the roads got worse or take my chance hoping the weather would not get worse? I chose to stay. My company had invested in me to go and become more educated for my position.

After leaving the seminar at 4:30 PM the snow was blowing. I was now caught in rush hour traffic. I am not use to city traffic. I am a country gal use to two lane roads not busy highways with four lanes.  I found myself at a crossroad trying to decide which lane I needed to be in for the exit that would take me to the next route I needed to be on to get home safely. I studied the signs and chose the correct lane.

As my journey continued home, the weather worsened. There was a car following closely behind me. As a matter of fact, the car was driving to close for my comfort. I found myself at another crossroad decision. Do I pull over and let them go by? Do I just continue navigating slowly and hope they don’t run into the back of me? Since there was no place to pull over safely, I chose to continue to drive slowly. I thought to myself if they want to pass me they will.  Due to all the correct crossroad decisions, I arrived home safely.

We have all come to many crossroads in our life. There is always a decision to make. To choose the right path at times can be difficult.

I am sure if you are a nonalcoholic in an alcoholic relationship, there will come a time that the major crossroad appears to you. This is where I speak of the choice that we have to make. As Doug Kelley states in his eBook, The Survivor’s Guide to Alcoholic Relationships:  

If you want complete relief from an alcoholic relationship you only have two possible alternatives: 1. The alcoholic recovers, or 2. You leave the relationship. Now you have one decision to make: You can take care of the problem now, or suffer longer and still take care of the problem later. Either way you, you will take care of the problem eventually, or die from the pain. Your choice. Period. Case Closed.

Wow! What a crossroad decision to make!

During this crossroad in your life you will experience many feelings within yourself. You may struggle with many inner conflicts.  You may find yourself filled with many fears.

How will I survive financially? How will the kids handle this decision? Can I handle being alone? The positive memories will be flooding at the gate of your brain. You will find yourself trying to fool yourself with thoughts like... geez it is not all that bad, he/she does not drink that much, he /she really is a good person. The list can and will go on and on.

I encourage you to take some quiet time for yourself when you come to that crossroad of making a decision.  Let your mind experience the visions of how your life has really been. Let your mind be creative as to what peace and happiness you can have if you choose the path in the crossroad that leads to ending the pain now.

When we are at a crossroad on a trip and don’t know which way to turn, we may get a map out for assistance. I ask you as you read this to get your map out. What map? If you have found your way to Empowered Recovery there are many tools available to assist you with the crossroad decision you have to make. The big map is the Empowered Recovery website. Within this map, there are many directions to lead you. There is the Survivor’s Guide eBook, articles, links to other materials and much more. I feel one really useful tool is the Empowered Recovery Forum.

One year ago this month, I found myself at the crossroad decision. I got the big map of Empowered Recovery out. With the assistance of everything that was available to me, I found myself on the journey of whom I am and who I can be.  I arrived to an enjoyable place. I arrived to my life. I had chosen to end the pain.

You are not alone on the journey. You are not alone at the crossroad decision. I encourage you to keep steering in the right direction. We will help you.  We will say “Welcome!” We are excited you chose the crossroad that led to us, but most of all that led to you finding you!


--Robin Walters, January 26, 2006


© Copyright 2006 by Robin Walters. All Rights Reserved. 

Robin Walters is an alcoholic relationship survivor and writer in New York state. Robin still longs to be a school teacher, but now satisfies that longing by sharing her life experiences in the hope that her lessons will lighten the load for others. She may be contacted at robin@empoweredrecovery.com. Read more of her writings at www.EmpoweredRecovery.com/robin .




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